


you better know

by kangtv (galacticnik)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Choi Minki (minor), I don't know, I'm Sorry, M/M, Post-Break Up, and meddling friends, because he is, i dunno something about seongwoo being an idiot, i reposted this so i don't remember half my tags, why does ao3 play me like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 04:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11524851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticnik/pseuds/kangtv
Summary: Breaking up with Daniel wassupposedto be a good decision, but three weeks in and Seongwoo might still be attached.(The truth is, Seongwoo is a coward and Daniel makes him feel things he doesn't want to, but running from something is easier when you don't keep looking back over your shoulder).





	you better know

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the red velvet song because i listened to their new mini on repeat while writing this. self-edited like last time, so please forgive any spelling/grammar/punctuation/formatting flubs!

“You’re staring again.”

At the sound of Minhyun’s voice, Seongwoo blinks and shakes his head, tearing his gaze away from the figure in the distance. “Me? _Staring?_ You need to get your eyes checked, friend.” His tone is light, blithe, but he grips his pen with unnecessary force. Notes blur on the page, his sloppy handwriting cutting off at odd places, and Seongwoo _does not know_ how he’s supposed to study for a final exam with this mess in front of him. Grimacing, he finishes off a sentence about use of gunpowder by the navy in the Joseon Dynasty and jabs the pen down hard enough to rip through paper.

“You were staring at him _again_ , Seongwoo, and it’s frightening me.” Minhyun is annoyingly stubborn, elbows resting on the table as he abandons his psychology textbook to peer at Seongwoo. Sometimes Seongwoo thinks they’re all specimens in one of Minhyun’s weird experiments and, well, he’s too tired to continue on with that train of thought but it ends somewhere along the lines of ‘Minhyun might be evil.’

Seongwoo does not want to be his unwitting victim today. “I’m trying to study and you’re being distracting.” He’s trying to study as of three minutes ago, to be honest, and before that he was trying to calculate how hard he’d have to stab himself (and where) for Death By Non-Sparkly Green Pen.

Minhyun’s lips stretch into a smile, but it’s the sort of expression that makes you shiver instead of smile back. “We both know you’re not going to pass your history elective.”

 _Ouch._ But true. History isn’t his thing, as much as he loves sageuks. “You know, instead of being a dick, you could sell me your notes from last semester.”

Minhyun’s smile deepens. “Already did—to someone else,” he says smugly. Seongwoo flips him off using both hands. “Don’t change the subject,” he continues, folding his hands in front of him. “Since when do you pine after your exes, Ong Seongwoo? It’s like I don’t know you anymore.”

“I am not _pining_ —” He’s prepared to let loose a flurry of righteous indignation at the mere suggestion that he, Ong Seongwoo, reigning king of breaking hearts, would stoop so low as to pine after an ex-boyfriend. ‘Exes’ have a clear definition in his book: the ‘ex’ stands for ‘pretend they do not _ex_ ist.’ Seongwoo isn’t the type of person to cling into something that ended a long time ago. Especially not when he’s the one to cut the metaphorical cord in the first place.

But despite being an ex as of three weeks ago, Kang Daniel still exists in his periphery. If anyone asks why Seongwoo unconsciously finds his eyes drawn to Daniel whenever he’s around, his standard answer is either ‘what the fuck no’ or ‘dick game too strong’ with no in betweens. The truth’s probably a bit more complicated than that, but he lacks the introspective depth to search for it.

Sitting out in the quad with his books spread out on a table in front of him, blond hair slicked back, Daniel taps a pencil against his lips in a regular rhythm— _tap, tap, tap, pause, tap, tap, tap, pause_ —and maybe there’s some truth to the fact that Seongwoo has been looking at him long enough to figure it out.

“You’re doing it again.”

“ _Fuck._ ” He swears reflexively and turns back to his books. Fine, he’s staring a bit, but calling it pining is a stretch. More like Seongwoo is bored and dazed and Daniel is the only thing in this quad that isn’t putting him to sleep. There’s also the fact that he looks really good dressed in casual jeans and a red plaid shirt, but Seongwoo’s not going there. “I have a problem. Consider blindfolding me and leaving me here to die.”

“Kinky, but we’re not that close.” Minhyun nudges him with his foot and raises an eyebrow. Seongwoo wishes his own facial expressions would cooperate with him to that degree. “If you’re going to stare at him like a whipped puppy, why the hell did you break up in the first place?”

Seongwoo jabs at his notebook again and swallows. He wishes the ink were red so he could think something poetic and artistically depressing right now, but all he can come up with is, _I’m Booboo the Fool._ “I don’t know,” he says, shrugging. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Daniel running a hand through his hair in frustration before chucking his pen at the ground. “It’s not that deep. I’m sleep deprived and horny, sue me.”

“Sure,” Minhyun says, mouth pressing into a thin line. He doesn’t sound convinced.

 

—

 

Seongwoo and Daniel dated for four and a half months before Seongwoo pulled him aside after their shared class and said, “Hey, I think we should break up.”

But that came later. First:

Seongwoo and Daniel met in the musty locker rooms of their university’s gym.

It was not, sadly, a meet cute. Seongwoo was trying to sneak a face mask out of Minhyun’s bag and book it before his friend came out of the showers. Daniel was occupying the locker next to Minhyun’s, red faced and fresh from an intensive workout. It should’ve been a quick, get-in-and-get-out kind of mission for Seongwoo (Minhyun used the same combination for everything). Then Daniel pulled off his shirt and Seongwoo tripped over the bench and slammed his head against the door of another open locker.

His friends like to say he has a problem: Seongwoo collects people the same way others collect figurines or toys. And, thanks to his short attention span (amongst other issues), discards them easily too. Seongwoo didn’t understand what they meant until he made eye contact with Kang Daniel (and Kang Daniel’s abs) while blood dripped down his forehead and thought, _holy shit I want that it’s mine give it to me._

He wishes he could say it was hard to get into Daniel’s pants, but Seongwoo is nothing if not irresistible and good at this game. He flirted like his life depended on it and dropped the equivalent of an anvil-sized hint on Daniel’s head that _yes, Seongwoo was into dudes_ and _yes, he would very much like to be into this particular dude_. When it finally came time to ask Daniel out, he’d been prepped and readied by Seongwoo and didn’t even hesitate before saying yes.

Insert a four and a half month montage of Seongwoo and Daniel doing stupidly couple-like things such as holding hands under the table at the library or kissing in the rain and coming down with colds afterwards or trying to get intimate but being cursed with nosy roommates and never getting a single moment of privacy. Okay, he’s still heated about that last one.

As far as relationships went, it was one of Seongwoo’s sweetest and longest-lasting ones. It might sound depressing, but that sort of thing has never been on his agenda. That it _happened_ and with Daniel is a surprise, and that he liked it was an even bigger one. But at the tender age of twenty, it’s not really something Seongwoo wants to be involved in. He doesn’t want to be settling into one of those comfortable ancient coming-up-to-a-fiftieth-anniversary relationships when he’s in _college_ and just to have some fun and get laid.

And there’s something unsettling about knowing he was standing at a precipice. The smallest step forward and Seongwoo could have fallen hard. Adrenaline rushes are well and good, but he’s always been scared of drowning too.

So he broke up with Daniel outside of history class while making a flimsy excuse about having to focus on school and how _it’s been fun but let’s just end it on a good note, yeah?_ Pretending the whole time that his heart wasn’t hammering in his ribcage, that his mouth wasn’t dry. Because goddammit Seongwoo is an ace at breaking up with someone.

Daniel looked at him in confusion, eyebrows drawing together as Seongwoo waited for a response. Acceptance, denial, grief—whatever. He held his breath as Daniel’s expression softened into what was almost a smile laced with regret. “If that’s what you want,” he said. His eyes never left Seongwoo’s face. “Thanks for the last four months.”

 _Four and a half,_ he wanted to respond. Instead, Seongwoo gave him a quick smile before turning on his heel, fighting the urge to clutch his chest and double over.

 

—

 

They’re in the same history class, both in the third row from the back. Seongwoo sits two seats away from Daniel. There’s usually only one person separating them, but Hyunbin skips class often enough that they might as well be sitting next to each other. It doesn’t matter much. Daniel doesn’t acknowledge Seongwoo and vice versa. Sometimes Seongwoo shows up fifteen minutes late to class with a steaming cup of coffee in his hands (mostly for the aesthetic; he’s not a huge fan of caffeine) and he can sense Daniel stiffen as he squeezes past. It’s a bad enough sign that he doesn’t push for more.

Seongwoo doesn’t offer platitudes like ‘we’ll still be friends’ after his break ups. Chances are, they’ll never speak to each other again. He gets it; it’s hard to pretend like nothing happened after you cross a certain line in your relationship. With Daniel, though, he wishes he’d tried. Maybe he wouldn’t be sneaking glances at him then, wistful sighs pooling in his mouth, fingers twitching with the urge to wrap around his. Maybe as friends, Seongwoo could’ve kept Daniel in his system and avoided this weird teenage school crush.

 _Maybe._ He’ll never know.

The professor’s wrapping up their final unit today. Ideally, he should be focused, but Seongwoo is doodling in the margins of his notebook (he gave up paying attention a long time ago) when his eyes slide over to Daniel on his right, hunched over a laptop and frantically typing away. Daniel presses down too hard on the spacebar every time and Seongwoo can’t decide if it’s annoying or cute. He looks like he’d fight the screen if he got the chance to and Seongwoo can relate—final paper woes. He would offer to help Daniel, but Seongwoo doesn’t know what he’s doing either.

And _oh yeah,_ Daniel probably hates the sight of him.

As if he can read his thoughts, Daniel’s head jerks up and, for a brief heart-stopping second, makes eye contact with Seongwoo. The corners of Daniel’s lips curve up into a smile. Seongwoo instinctively smiles back until he remembers he’s not supposed to do that anymore. At the sight of his fading expression, Daniel’s goofy grin wavers, then slides off his face entirely.

A knot forms in his stomach, growing stronger when Daniel mouths a word at him. _Sorry._ And it’s so unexpected and unwanted that Seongwoo flinches and rocks back in his seat, knocking his cup of coffee to the ground. The girl beside him gives him a murderous look as he scrambles to rescue his notes from the spill, but after a few seconds, sighs and hands him her handkerchief to help mop up.

When Seongwoo finally looks back over his shoulder, Daniel is staring at his laptop screen with hands frozen over the keyboard, the veins in his neck sticking out.

Seongwoo’s heart clenches painfully, but he chalks it up to heartburn.

 

—

 

After class, he stalks back to his room and slams the door open. Minki is perched on Minhyun’s bed, the two of them studying for some class or another (or plotting world domination). Seongwoo can’t muster up the energy to care, just dumps his bag on his desk and throws himself face-first onto his bed. “Help me,” he moans, head buried in his pillow. “Help me escape from this hell.”

“What’s up with him?” Minki asks.

Minhyun laughs. “He’s crying about the one that got away,” he says, sounding a little bit too gleeful for Seongwoo’s liking. He would flip both of them off but it’s too much effort to raise his arms.

“Oh.” Minki sounds disappointed by the weak gossip. “Who cares.”

“ _You_ should,” Seongwoo snaps, voice still muffled by the pillow. “Actually, don’t.” The last thing he needs is their particular brand of meddling. The last thing he needs is _any_ meddling, because Seongwoo has this situation under control. So what if there’s a possibility that Daniel doesn’t hate him? Daniel smiled at him, sure, but Daniel smiles at a lot of stupid things. That doesn’t mean this is an opportunity to slide backwards into his arms.

“C’mon, drama queen. I’ll order pizza if you stop bringing down the mood.”

Seongwoo raises his head. “Pizza? Can I pick the toppings?” You’re never too depressed for pizza.

“Yeah, yeah,” Minhyun says, and Seongwoo perks up.

The thing is, Seongwoo thinks later, lying in a pizza induced food coma, that it doesn’t matter if he’s crying about the one who got away or not.

Seongwoo is a firm believer in the theory that relationships are best when they’re short lived bursts of passion. You burn bright and then burn out. You might spend some time nursing first degree burns, but those heal over time. Relationships shouldn’t leave you with permanent scarring.

But dating Daniel was not passionate or fiery. Seongwoo was screwed from the beginning. He associates Daniel with a tentative softness, the sort of feeling in your stomach you ascribe to first loves, with trepidation, trembling hands, the nerves that come with touching something fragile and being terrified you’ll break it.

Seongwoo is insincere, fickle, and irresponsible. He runs from his problems and determinedly does not care about anything. Daniel, on the other hand, is one of the most genuine people Seongwoo has ever met, straightforward and heartfelt and an all-in kind of guy. He deserves someone who can meet him halfway and care about him properly.

Seongwoo is not That Guy. He doesn’t know if he can be.

He wishes that could just be the end of it, but moving on is surprisingly difficult. He takes one step forward and the sight of Daniel’s smile or a glimpse of his back pulls Seongwoo to the starting point. If he’s talking about leaving lasting marks, then Daniel gave him third degree burns.

 

—

 

Contrary to popular belief, the library is a horrible place to sleep. The chairs are uncomfortable, the air conditioner is broken, and people always search for you in the library first when you’re trying to hide. Still, being sexiled from his room leads Seongwoo to fall asleep while reading about the Treaty of Gyehae. Drool pools on his textbook as he snores lightly, catching up on three or four days of sleep—fuck finals week, honestly.

Distantly, he hears someone slide a chair out and sink into the seat across from him, setting their books near Seongwoo’s head with a thump! “Hi,” a voice that sounds eerily like Daniel’s says, and Seongwoo lets out a longing sigh before alertness slams back into him.

He shoots up as if he’s been electrocuted. “What in saint’s _hell_ —”

Through sleep-lidded eyes, he sees Daniel rub the back of his neck and grin at him sheepishly. “Sorry about that. I didn’t think you were actually sleeping.” He looks adorably flustered, his cheeks coloring slightly.

Seongwoo pinches his leg under the table to make sure he isn’t dreaming this random encounter. Fortunately (or unfortunately), it hurts so he’s still conscious… for whatever that’s worth. “What did I tell you about my fragile nerves and excitable heart?” His throat feels like sandpaper. Blinking rapidly, Seongwoo puts a hand to his chest, dropping to an outraged whisper. “I could’ve _died_.”

Daniel stares at him for a moment, then laughs, clapping his hands together. “How lame would it be to die in the library?”

Seongwoo glances down. “In sweatpants and Minhyun’s _Frozen_ boxers too.” He has a snowman printed on his ass (among other places). Tragic. Seeing Daniel’s look of confusion, he quickly adds, “I don’t do laundry.” Jonghyun usually does laundry for him, but he’s been busy with classes lately. So Minhyun’s questionably clean clothes pile is all Seongwoo has left.

“I want to see _Frozen_ ,” Daniel says. Seongwoo wiggles his eyebrows and Daniel coughs, turning his face away. “I mean the movie, not your boxers.”

“If you want to get me naked, I gotta say: the library is not the best place.” The inappropriateness of the joke hits him a minute too late. Normally, he wouldn’t bat an eyelash, but Daniel is a… It’s just not a good idea for him to imagine Daniel undressing him right now. Especially because Seongwoo wouldn’t mind if he did.

Daniel doesn’t respond. Dragging a nail across the table’s pockmarked surface, he opens his mouth then closes it again and swallows. “Hey, so,” he starts finally. “About, uh, class yesterday.”

As glad as Seongwoo is for the change in topic, he doesn’t know what to say to this either. Clearing his throat, he pulls his textbook closer to him and forces out a chuckle. “It’s totally fine, my dude. I didn’t spill any coffee onto my lap and handkerchief girl gave me her number after class so I count that as a win, you know?” _Fuck_ , Seongwoo thinks. _Shut up._ He should have ended at ‘my dude’ and never gone further.

He thinks he can see Daniel’s face visibly fall at the mention of handkerchief girl and immediately feels like an asshole. Three weeks isn’t a lot of time to move on. “Oh,” Daniel says.

“But I don’t know if I’m going to call her,” Seongwoo adds. “You know me; I like numbers.”

“Your contacts list is crazy long,” Daniel agrees.

“It’s called networking, my young Daniel.” Seongwoo lets out an exaggerated sigh, hoping his relief isn’t obvious. “One day you’ll understand.”

Probably a mark of how long they went out that Daniel ignores him and gets the conversation back on track without letting Seongwoo go off on a different tangent. “Like I said, about class earlier…” He trails off, mouth puckering. “Sounded a lot less stupid in my head, but I wondered if that was a sign I should talk to you or something.”

“Ah.” _Ah._ Such an intelligent answer. Someone award him a Nobel Prize.

“I know it’s been a while since we broke up,” Daniel ventures cautiously.

“Three weeks,” Seongwoo supplies. He’s suddenly finding the drool stains in his textbook fascinating.

“Your friend Minhyun keeps sending me weird DMs on Insta too and I just—I guess I thought I should talk to you about _Us_.”

The emphasis on _Us_ worries him. “Minhyun is a low key evil genius slash asshole, so just block him the first chance you get.” He knew that shithead would meddle somehow. Seongwoo doesn’t need his help; he has things under control. “And there is no ‘us,’ Daniel. We’re not, you know, _together_. We’re a _you_ and a _m_ —”

“I didn’t want to break up,” Daniel cuts in, and Seongwoo’s mouth snaps shut, teeth clattering. “When you came to talk to me, I panicked. I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ without sounding clingy.” He traces patterns on the table, eyes downcast, and Seongwoo fights the urge to drag a hand down his face. “I don’t date a lot—guys especially—and I figured it made more sense to go along with what you wanted. But,” he raises his head and inhales sharply. “I didn’t want it.”

Seongwoo’s heart plummets to his knees. “Daniel, I—” The conversation isn’t anything new; Seongwoo’s had a few like this in the past, but he doesn’t remember caring about them. Probably gave his exes a few half-hearted sorrys and made some glib jokes.

That’s where the fucking problem lies: he cares about Daniel and can’t give him the same. He deserves more. He deserves the truth. That maybe _Seongwoo_ panicked too, overwhelmed by feelings he didn’t understand. That Seongwoo wonders sometimes if he was too hasty in wanting to break up, but now that it’s done he doesn’t know how to take it back.

“I guess—” Daniel fidgets. “I’m not asking you to date me again, but if you still feel the same about me, then why aren’t we together?”

“ _Jesus,_ Daniel.” Seongwoo doesn’t know how to respond. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t cut it, neither does a ‘no,’ because he doesn’t mean either of them. His fingers curl into fists. Daniel is saying things a traitorous part of Seongwoo needs to hear, but the rest of him isn’t sure if he wants it. “What did Minhyun _tell_ you?”

Daniel flushes deep red. “Uh, just some stuff. About pining and crying into your pillow and something about dreams—”

“He was joking. Minhyun is evil. I absolutely don’t pine or crying into my pillow and I definitely didn’t have a naughty dream about you last night.” The night _before_ that is fair game though. “I hate saying this, but don’t read too much into whatever he says.” And Seongwoo is fully aware he sounds like a gigantic dick here but it’s all that comes to mind. He can’t force anything else out of his mouth, can’t say ‘I think I still like you’ because it’s admitting defeat and terrifying to even think about and—

Seongwoo is a bad person.

Daniel’s shoulders droop. Seongwoo flips a page to avoid looking at his expression but glances up at the wrong moment, just in time to see Daniel smile self-deprecatingly. “Worth a shot.” He gathers his books. “I guess I should get out of your way, huh?”

He should say _no, stop, stay and study with me because fuck if I know what this class is even called and I didn’t mean what I said,_ but Seongwoo swallows it instead and nods. “Good luck with the studying.” He fiddles with his pen. “Aim for that A+, okay?”

“I always aim high,” Daniel says.

Seongwoo slumps in his seat and watches him leave. The clip on his pen snaps off. And you know, that accurately describes how he feels right now.

 

—

 

Dongho is gone by the time Seongwoo returns from the library. He finds Minhyun shrugging his shirt back on, kicking the mess on his side of the room under Seongwoo’s bed. “Oh hey,” he says when Seongwoo closes the door behind him. “Good timing.”

Depressingly enough, he’s not even in the mood to tease Minhyun. Tossing his bag on the floor, he grabs a chair and throws himself into it. “What the fuck, Minhyun?” Seongwoo says without preamble. “What the _hell_ did you send to Daniel?”

Minhyun blinks. “You’re welcome.”

“If I WANTED YOUR HELP I WOULD HAVE ASKED.” The words burst out of him and hell, Seongwoo doesn’t _raise his voice at people_ , but he can’t help it. A couple of hours of wallowing in frustration and anger at his own stupidity has left him extremely pissed off. “Now it’s awkward, Minhyun. I fucked up!”

“Sometimes you need a little push,” Minhyun says. He sits across from Seongwoo and gives him a sympathetic pat on the knee. “You’re a little—”

“Well, I pushed in the _wrong fucking direction_ and told him I don’t have feelings for him anymore.”

The temperature of the room drops several degrees. Seongwoo physically feels it, the hairs on his arm standing up. “What?” Minhyun asks, his voice even. “What did you just say? After all my hard work, what did you _do_?”

“I—I was freaking out!” The more he speaks now, the more it dawns on him how unbelievably stupid he acted in front of Daniel. “I just—he was talking about not wanting to break up and how he wanted to get back together and I _freaked out_ , Minhyun. I wasn’t getting enough oxygen in my brain and said the first stupid thing that came to mind.”

“And the first stupid thing that came to mind was, ‘Hey I’m in love with you but I don’t want to be with you?’”

“I’m not in love with him—” Seongwoo chokes on the word. Love. _Love_. Like the basic love songs literally everyone sings about, like the annoying main plotline of every tv show he’s ever watched, like when Rose told Jack she would never let go at the end of the Titanic. Love is soft fucking flower petals and chocolate and the way Seongwoo’s chest grows hot when Daniel says his name.

Oh, fuck. “Holy shit. I might be in love with him.”

A pause—

The Minhyun bursts out laughing and falls back on his bed. From across the hall, Minki yells, “FINALLY.”

Seongwoo wants to fight both of them until remembers the conversation he had with Daniel earlier and then he wants to fight himself. “Ohhhhhh my goooooood,” he moans, covering his face. “I might be in love with him and i told him not to read too much into it and that we weren’t an ‘us’ ohhh myyyy gooood.” It was bad when he said it but it’s _worse_ now.

There’s another pause.

“YOU’RE AN IDIOT,” Minki hollers. It’s followed by a _thwack_ and Seongwoo assumes he threw something at the door.

His head snaps up. This isn’t helping. “THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP, DICKWAD,” Seongwoo shoots back. “THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION.”

Minhyun laces his hands behind his head and looks at Seongwoo with pity in his eyes. “You might want to fix this soon. I think it’s too much for me to meddle in.”

“Why don’t I just _die?_ ” When Minhyun admits to something like that, it’s as good as hopeless.

Shrugging, Minhyun says, “No pain, no gain.” Yeah, but you know what? Seongwoo hates pain.

It takes him ten minutes to come to the conclusion that Daniel is worth it.

 

—

 

Seongwoo bursts out of his dorm, realizes his pants have a hole in crotch area, and runs back inside. Five minutes later, he’s properly clothed with his phone in his hands, shooting out a text to Daniel before he can chicken out of this whole thing and live in misery, wondering _what if._

 **ong seongwoo** _[ 20:16 ]_ **:**  
hey where are you

 **kang daniel** _[ 20:17 ]_ :  
in my room why  
this isn’t like a  
what would you be doing if i was there kinda thing right  
because i told you i can’t really sext

 **ong seongwoo** _[ 20:17 ]:_  
ok  
plant your cute ass on your bed and don’t move  
you know what i should save that until AFTER i tell you something

 **kang daniel** _[ 20:18 ] **:**_  
i’m getting really mixed signals from you

 **ong seongwoo** _[ 20:20 ]:_  
i’m a complicated guy  
open up

The door swings open a moment later. Daniel stands there with his phone still in hand, dressed in shorts and a striped muscle shirt. His hair is adorably ruffled like he’s just gotten out of bed, and he holds back a yawn while rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “You, uh, came.”

“Hey,” Seongwoo responds. Whatever energy was propelling him earlier ebbs out of him now. He wishes he could take a step forward and drop his head onto Daniel’s shoulder and just _rest_ , but Daniel still thinks Seongwoo no longer has feelings for him because he’s an idiot. So. “Can I come in?” he asks.

Daniel steps aside wordlessly and shuts the door behind him. “Jisung’s not here, so… Uh, is everything okay?” He kicks a few dirty clothes and miscellaneous items into the closet and Seongwoo pretends not to notice. Can’t help but snicker, though, and Daniel sighs in exasperation. “Before you ask, that wasn’t my jockstrap.”

Seongwoo raises his arms in surrender. “I wasn’t going to ask.”

“Oh.” They stand in awkward silence for a moment until Daniel sits down. His bedsprings squeak and Seongwoo has war flashbacks to all the times he and Daniel were interrupted by Jisung popping in for a second to grab his books and offer them a condom.

“Listen,” Seongwoo says finally, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry about dropping by all of a sudden. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Do I need to worry?”

“Possibly? I’m worried, but I don’t think you need to be. Or you do. Shit, I don’t know. Let’s both be worried.” He’s rambling and making no sense but Daniel doesn’t seem to mind. Leaning forward, Daniel stares at him with a rapt expression, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve been doing some thinking in the…. four hours since we talked.”

Daniel frowns. “Weren’t you going to study?”

“Daniel, I’m going to fail. That ship has sailed.” Seongwoo has no hope left. “Don’t let school and that awful class kill the mood—”

“I like history—”

“—because I’m _trying_ to talk about our relationship, Daniel, please get your priorities straight.”

“I thought we weren’t an ‘us,’” Daniel says, but there’s no malice in his tone, no judgement. Actually, Seongwoo would probably feel better if Daniel did get mad at him. He has every right to.

“I deserve that, yes. Hit me again.”

Daniel smirks. “I thought we were a _you_ and a _me_.”

Hearing Seongwoo’s own words being thrown back only highlights how stupid they were. In the future, he should refrain from opening his mouth unless he thinks things through first, but that’s asking a lot for Seongwoo. “Okay, stop hitting me. I have a couple of feelings.”

“Just a couple?”

“Okay.” Fine, he deserves to have his leg pulled, but Seongwoo also needs to get through this before he collapses from stress or something. “You’re going to make this hard on me, aren’t you?” Flopping down beside him on the bed, Seongwoo bumps his arm against Daniel’s. “I wanted to do this _right_ after fucking up earlier.” Maybe he should have prepared a speech. “Like, I was going to sweep you off your feet in a romantic gesture, but I actually don’t have a plan or anything. Just the aforementioned couple of feelings.”

Daniel’s breath hitches. His plays with the frayed hem of his shorts and rubs his knees. “I don’t know; your feelings were no feelings earlier in the day.” Pausing, he adds, “And I got hurt once already.”

Wincing, Seongwoo tucks his hands under his thighs. Nice to know he can still feel a rush of guilt over that. “I’m unfair, I know, but I was panicking in the library and said some things I didn’t mean.” How is he supposed to explain that the thought of admitting he likes Daniel past their arbitrary expiry date is simultaneously thrilling and petrifying? Because he’s never felt this way about someone before. “I’m not saying Minhyun was right about anything—like the pining or the crying—but I still care about you.”

This is harder than taking the college entrance exams. “Please don’t cringe but I think I might be in love with you and that scared me so I thought it’d be easier to just end it.” It’s not that surprising; Seongwoo never implied he was a mature adult capable of dealing with his emotions. “I thought if I ignored you, everything would be fine. But.” Swallowing, Seongwoo looks at the floor. “Even when I look away, I always look back at you.”

Shit, this is so embarrassing. He buries his face in his hands. “Don’t make me say more.” Even if the last vestiges of his pride weren’t lying on the dorm room floor, Seongwoo wouldn’t be able to go on. He doesn’t do vulnerability or honesty. It’s not a _thing_. Seongwoo represses and internalizes and firmly ignores his feelings until they go away. He’ll take the road most travelled because it’s an easier hike.

He feels a touch on his knee and peeks through his fingers. Daniel’s hand is large enough to completely cover the rip in his jeans, and his touch is warm, spreading through the rest of Seongwoo’s body. “Seongwoo,” he begins. “I love you too, but you sound like you’re getting a root canal, not confessing your feelings.”

“I made an _attempt_ —” Raising his head, he breaks off when Daniel’s lips press against his instead, hesitant and soft, hands travelling to his hips to hold him in place. But Seongwoo doesn’t wait to be anywhere but here. He shifts and wraps his arms around Daniel’s neck, pulling him closer. Daniel kisses languidly, like he has all the time in the world. Seongwoo kisses hurriedly, like he’s rushing to reach a finish line. They meet somewhere in the middle, inhaling the taste of each other’s lips.

It’s been three weeks since the last time he kissed Daniel, but right now it feels like no time at all.

Seongwoo pulls away first, arms sliding from Daniel’s neck. His heart beats painfully in his chest and he rubs at it idly, part of him still waiting for a rejection or for Daniel to say, _I’m sorry but my feelings have changed_. He deserves the resulting heartbreak for being slow on the uptake in the first place. And a punch to the jaw. A punch to the jaw would make sense.

But, as he braces for a hit that never comes, Daniel laughs quietly and says, “I love you too.” Even though Seongwoo’s heard it before, even though he _knows_ , his breath still catches in his throat. He doesn’t want Daniel to quantify it or explain it, he just wants to hear it again and know that this time he won’t run from the way Daniel makes him feel.

“Even though I’m an idiot?”

“Yeah.”

“And a crappy boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“And might try and run if we ever hit our sixth month anniversary because I don’t know how to do this?”

“If you tried to run,” Daniel says, catching Seongwoo’s hand in his own and threading his fingers through the other man’s, “I’d grab you and pull you back to me.”

A laugh bubbles up in his chest. “That’s disgusting,” Seongwoo says automatically, but he’s grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t you dare let go.” Because he’s going to try not to. _Really try._ You know, he hopes they’re not Rose and Jack because Titanic made him cry a lot and he’d like for this not to end in tragedy after all this hard work and emotional upheaval.

Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will. But until then, he’s going to spend every moment he can trying not to fuck it up. He loves Daniel, pop ballad background music and all, and though there’s so much Seongwoo still doesn’t understand, he knows this much: he wants to be with Kang Daniel for as long as possible.

Daniel brings his hand up to his face and brushes his lips over Seongwoo’s knuckles. “I won’t.”

 

—

 

(“I’m going to take credit for that,” Minhyun says when he sees Seongwoo and Daniel sitting together at lunch, heads bent together. Daniel laughs at something and Seongwoo colors, but follows less than a second later.

Minki scowls. “I helped.”

“Okay,” Minhyun concedes. He sneaks a fry from Minki’s plate. “But _I_ meddled the most.”)

**Author's Note:**

> you know what: i genuinely didn't intend to write something so quickly, but the idea popped into my head and i decided to finish it mostly on impulse so here we are? i was genuinely blown away by the response to my other ongniel fic--i'm sorry i couldn't reply to everyone individually--and i hope you'll accept and support this meager offering as well! 
> 
> i have a couple more things in my WIP folder but until then, thank you and i love you ❤︎


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